As Valentine’s day approaches, everyone is making plans for nice dates and romantic evenings out. I remember not too long ago I was able to eagerly look forward to a nice night out alone with my then boo, now husband. I know for a fact that we always had a great time together, and even still, I also know that I took those nights for granted. Long gone are the days when we could go out without planning ahead two weeks in advance for a night where we would both be home, have a baby sitter, have the funds to go out after paying bills and both have the energy to put on real clothes.
And then when you have finally crossed everything off of your mountain high list, (found the free time, decided on plans, took a nap so you don’t fall asleep on said plans. Got the babysitter, everyone is dressed, you’re wearing clean clothes that aren’t leggings and a t-shirt, the diaper bag is packed and you’re ready to go!) you can’t even really fully enjoy the night out because you’ll be thinking about those crumbsnatchers the whole time!
Oh wait, I’m sorry. I’m probably confusing you because I keep saying ‘night out’. What I really mean is 4 hours (tops) of you and your man out, trying to have fun while every worse case scenario is running through your mind.
“What if the baby needs more milk?”
“What if they baby won’t drink her milk”
“What if he falls and breaks his arm while I’m in the movies and I forgot to put the insurance card in the overnight bag? Overnight? Nah we’re picking them up after dinner.”
“What if zombies rise from the dead and the babysitter doesn’t know to aim for the head and we come home to a zombie baby? All because I wanted to see Bad Boys 3! I don’t love Will Smith THAT much!”
I’m sure my husband doesn’t think like this but I know other moms get me (well maybe outside of that last one lol). BTC, before the children. I never thought going out on a date would be so complicated, exhausting and come with constant mom-worrying.
So most of the time, our date nights end up being meetings on the couch. We plan to stay up to watch a rated R movie after the kids have gone to sleep, then end up falling asleep on it 30 minutes in.Or, my personal favorite, take a family date to Target. This is mostly me forcing my husband to walk aimlessly around Target with me just so I can get some fresh air and spend time with him outside of the house.
This is so dull compared to the dates my childless friends are having. A lot of the time I feel like I’m a toddler myself because of the brand of entertainment we are allowed to enjoy on a regular basis. Instead of comedy clubs and wine tastings, we watch Frozen in the living room and takes walks to the playground. Then other times, I feel way more ‘adult’ than I’d like to as I parent and make decisions about vaccinations and where we should put our children in school for the next 10 years.
I know life goes in a rhythm. There was a time when it was just me and him, and when our children are grown we will get back to that time again, if we are blessed and work for it. I just hope I will be able to really enjoy my dates and couch meetings without the mom worry then. I just needed to vent this real mom ish to my real mom friends!
