If you’re a mom like me, chances are you use Pinterest as a search engine for everything, especially parenting advice. If you open your Pinterest app right now and search ‘Potty training’, you’ll be directed to tons of articles. Some will be “Potty training tips & hacks”, not unlike my recent 6 potty training tips post. But a lot of the Pins will say something like “How to potty train in 3 days!”, “Potty train your toddler in 1 weekend!” etc.
You might be thinking ‘OMG this is amazing!’, but I’m here to tell you that for the most part, it’s all clickbait. To be honest, I hate those articles. I’ve read a lot of them and even tried their methods and I mostly find them to be a breeding ground for mom-shaming and unrealistic for most parents.
If in fact a child or children were completely potty trained in 3 days at the age of 2 (which I doubt), that’s amazing but believe me when I tell you that 9/10 that won’t happen. New moms and parents need to know that potty training is a long-distance race, not a sprint. Even if you try the 3-day method and see some improvements, you will still be in this potty-training process for a while. And that is perfectly fine and normal! The American Academy of Pediatrics says that most children will not completely master their bowel movements until age 4. The keyword here is most, not all. Some children, especially those with special needs, need up to age 6 and sometimes beyond to master their bladder & bowels. Still, this is all perfectly normal.
With that being said, please don’t compare yourself and your family to the moms in these posts when you find yourself still cleaning up accidents a week or a month after starting this process. They probably did too, they just didn’t post about it! Every child, household and parenting style is different. Some kids have an easier time mastering these milestones than others. Not too long-ago actress Kristin Bell shared that her 5-year-old daughter was still in diapers (overnight). This shocked the internet, and she was immediately dragged for it and called a bad parent.
This is exactly why the 3-day potty training method and the clickbait “potty train in 2 seconds!” posts are so toxic. My own 4-year-old still occasionally has overnight accidents. She’s a very deep sleeper and even sleepwalks, so for a while, my husband and I did what Kristin and husband Dax Shepard do, we would wake her and bring her to the potty each night between 11 pm-12 am to help get her body used to waking up and going to the bathroom. This and cutting off drinking past dinner time have greatly reduced the number of accidents she has to almost none a month. But every once in a while, they still happen, and that is okay.
The truth about the 3-day potty training method
I might be the only mom blogger to say this but, no my child wasn’t potty trained in 3 days and I’m not pressed about it either. Actually, we have officially been potty training our 2-year-old for 1.5 months now. Though we have had a lot of success, we are still far from the finish line. A lot of online blog posts and articles won’t tell you that the 3-day process actually involves you cleaning up urine and sometimes feces off of your floors and furniture for days.
I know from experience that some kids quickly learn that the feeling of being wet is gross and that using the pot is better, My first daughter was like this. My spirited 2-year-old, however, is just fine with being wet. This child is a different breed! My oldest daughter would wait until we put a pull-up on her and hide to take her poops. This second born? No hiding, no squatting and no waiting for the pull-up either. Just poop right in the middle of the floor. So yeah, the 3 day no pants method isn’t as miraculous and cool as it seems.
In order for that method to be successful (and as clean as possible) you have to be extremely vigilant. We did the no pants method for about a week. This does teach your child (and you) about their body cues and noticing how they act when they need to go. It gets them quickly familiar with using the potty and with positive reinforcement that using the potty is a good thing. But, if your child is like mine, doing this method day in and day out might not be enough to completely skip the accidents that are naturally bound to happen. My daughter did great for a time but when we relaxed on making her go as often, and started allowing her to roam the house with training pants on she started to have more accidents.
Realistic Potty-Training Progress
But again, this is all normal. At 24 months old, how can I expect her to stop doing something she has been doing without thought or hesitation for her entire life after only 3 days? Realistically, I expect her progress to look something like this
1 week – Learning basic body cues, getting familiar with the potty and making the mental connection that pee goes in the potty instead of the diaper.
2-3 weeks – Strengthening the connection between physical urges and using the potty by consistently being put on the pot, being asked, frequently, about having to go and receiving positive reinforcements for a job well done
End of month and beyond – able to stay dry during some naps, can occasionally vocalize the urge to use the potty without being prompted, and can eliminate on the potty without sitting for long periods of time. As time goes on, less accidents will happen, and more independence is gained.
I used a full week to set the foundation of potty training, but I understand that this schedule, especially post pandemic, won’t work for everyone. This is why it is important to put your child in the care of someone who is just as committed as you to getting potty training done. Most daycare centers and family friends are willing to help with this. But it is just as important to be patient and realize that this will not happen overnight.
If your child trains quickly, great but if not, it is not a reflection on your ability as a parent or your child’s capability. There are so many things designed to make us feel guilty as parents even though we are trying our very best day in and day out. Potty training should not be a source of mom guilt or stress. Progress over perfection! Be kind to yourself and love your babies!
Read more about potty training here:
How to Potty Train a Stubborn Toddler https://www.wonderbaby.org/articles/how-potty-train-stubborn-toddler
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