Becoming a Stay at Home Mom during a Pandemic

Has anyone else been personally victimized by Facebook memories??

On June 22, 2018, I posted these exact words on Facebook “I need to be a housewife. I hate working. My new goal in life is to not work for a living anymore”. Well, here I am almost exactly 2 years later doing just that and it’s nothing like I expected. Sure, when I posted that status I thought I’d become a housewife under different circumstances. I thought I’d get here because my husband would land a great job or I’d start making money from blogging, hell I even thought a long lost relative would pass away and leave me a lofty inheritance! I would have never thought that I would lose a job I loved due to a global pandemic, an inept president, and a collapsing economy… enter 2020! 

What I thought being a Stay At Home Mom would be like…

Expectation: I’d be completely relaxed and happy all the time!

Reality: Constantly worrying about the future and making ends meet with unemployment. 

Expectation: Doing projects and fun learning activities with my kids daily! 

Reality: Hiding from said kids and letting them watch a lot of TV to keep my sanity

Expectation: Perfectly clean house, always ready to entertain guests!

Reality: I am so tired of cleaning a house that is never clean. And we are social distancing so, at this point, I could care less because no one visits anyway.

Expectation: Spending all of my time working on my passion, this platform!

Reality: I am doing this, but it takes way more work and commitment than I thought!

Becoming a Stay at Home Mom during a Pandemic…

The truth is I never expected to spend a month depressed, waiting on unemployment, suddenly struggling with motherhood & having lost all creative inspiration. I felt, and at times still feel, overwhelmed, lonely, bored, and purposeless. I’m not even sure that I’m 100% out of the woods so this isn’t a “5 ways to not be depressed during a global pandemic” post, this is a “How I’m surviving” post. 

My time at home might be more enjoyable if we could go out and do things. When I worked outside of the home 40hrs a week, I always fantasied about taking my kids to circle time at the library and to explore museums. Right now, however, that just isn’t possible. I bought extra outside toys and new workbooks to create some things to do indoors but as we approach our 3rd month of social distancing, those things are overdone. 

Even still, I am trying to find ways to appreciate this time. “Enjoy where you’re at on the way to where you’re going” is a Joyce Meyer quote my mom is always repeating to me. If you spend your life waiting for xy and z to happen, you will be perpetually waiting on something to permit you to be happy. The truth is, you can have that happiness right now if you choose it. and you should choose it now because you could get exactly what you want or think that you need and still not be happy! Think about it, had I waited 2 years thinking I’d finally be happy as a SAHM, only to find out the circumstances were a powder keg of boredom & uncertainty, I would probably be even more depressed. 

So lately, I’ve been trying to live in the moment and choose happiness. Honestly, it’s very difficult to do. Self-pity and depression are easier but, they are so destructive to our mental & physical health. In life, but mainly in times like these, we have to be intentional about enjoying ourselves. Every morning I try to think of the things I am thankful for because even though I have struggles, things are not all bad! You amplify what you focus on! Instead of focusing on the fact that my kids can be annoying and demanding, I appreciate that I get to spend this time watching them grown and bonding with them. Instead of focusing on the loss of purpose due to losing my job, I am trying to appreciate the free time that most people don’t get and using that time to figure out what my real wants and goals are. 

As you can imagine, things are always simpler when money is not a problem. Now that unemployment is covering most of my bills for the next few weeks I can breathe easily. In a few, short weeks, that might not be the case. I may be faced with problems like debt, late fees, and the stress of job hunting, so right now I am trying to enjoy some peace of mind, even if it’s on borrowed time. 

So if you are stressed figuring things out, I urge you to try and refocus on the good for a while and give yourself a break. This is an important part of self-care that we often overlook. The ‘self-care’ movement has become a capitalistic opportunity for companies to sell you bath bombs and foot massagers, but don’t forget that your mental health is the biggest part of self-care! 

Take care of yourself!