New Year, No Resolutions

I’ve never been the type of person to put much stock into a new year. Outside of the partying and drinking, the change from December 31st to January 1st has never been a momentous occasion in my life. I am well aware that any change or rebirth that occurs in one’s life is due to planning, hard work and whatever the universe already has planned. I’ve never and will never wait until the first of the year to start changing my behavior for the better or to take on a new project. 

Well, for whatever reason on December 31st 2019, I broke form and declared “2020 will be my year!” 

*pause for laughter*

The first two months of 2020 seemed to start out fine. I celebrated my daughter’s first birthday with a trip to the zoo. My best friend moved to Arizona, making it the first time we lived in the same city in 7 years! My cousin visited me for her spring break right before a work trip I took to Chicago. My daughter was thriving in preschool, our debt was low and our plans to save money to finally buy a home were just within our grasp. Then 2020 decided to 2020. March was hard but April started a downward spiral. 

The entire year wasn’t a wash. Outside of the financial desperation, constant worry about a deadly global pandemic, trying to be a great wife, mother, janitor, chef, preschool teacher and person with human desires, I still had a few successes. My social media presence and consistency with growing my blog is the best it’s ever been. Despite the draining nature of no days off from parenting, I’ve enjoyed this time with my children. I won’t disrespect others who have had it worse than me by saying I haven’t had a few wins this year, and for those I am thankful. 

But even with that knowledge, here I am, days into 2021, exhausted, jaded and concerned for the future. I know one thing is certain, I will NOT be saying 2021 will be my year. You couldn’t pay me. Nor will I be making any resolutions. Here is what I plan to do instead.

What to do instead of making resolutions 

Create a Vision Board for the New Year

I’ve always believed in the power of vision boards. It’s an amazing way to explore what you want and create a visual representation of that. If you don’t believe in the law of attraction, at the very basic level vision boards help you to gain focus on what you want, it provides a constant reminder of the things you set as a priority and it increases your chances of working towards bringing those dreams into a reality.

Now, if you do believe in manifesting, a vision board can help get you closer to your goals by the law of attraction. I suggest you read books like The Secret and Write It Down Make It Happen for more on this. This year I used two pages of a notebook I plan to use daily to make a vision board. You can also use a poster board, or a picture frame for your board. I cut and pasted words, pictures, and mantras from magazines, stickers, and things I printed online to create a totem for my goals in the next few months/ years. I also took some time to write down the things that went right for me in 2020 as well as a list of positive affirmations for the coming new year. 

Planning out your year 

I will admit that the nosedive 2020 took makes me leery of any lofty plans. Last year literally showed me that ‘Man makes plans and God laughs’. So instead of making big plans for the entire 12 months, I’m going month to month, quarter to quarter. This way, I won’t be as hard on myself when I reach the end of the year and everything hasn’t been done. I’m allowing for human error as well as acts of God (i.e a global pandemic). As I write this we are still in the grips of COVID-19, even though we have a few promising vaccines, we still don’t know when this will all be over. So I am hopeful but keeping my plans and hopes for the new year firmly planted in reality. Most of my goals involve my physical and mental health, as well as my blog. All of my goals will be S.M.A.R.T. Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and time-bound. Click here to read more about making Smart goals. 

Showing up for yourself consistently 

Whatever goals/plans we decide to make, we should try our best to show up for them consistently and that will increase our chances of success. This is definitely my main take away from 2020. I decided to show up for She’s Wright every day and I grew from 590 followers to 2,400+ in a few months. I’ve increased the quality of my content and discovered my true voice online. Anything you do with intention and consistency is bound to be successful, you just have to show up! I’d be doing us all a disservice if I didn’t also say that being consistent is hard work, whether it be working out, a project you started, or whatever the case is, we all have times when we don’t feel like doing anything. For those times, go ahead and take a break! But get back to it. 

No matter what, do your best 

Whenever I would struggle at things or worried about my performance my mom would always ask me “Well, did you do your best?” and If I replied yes she would say ‘Well, your best is all you can do and your best is good enough” Basically, in whatever you are attempting you should try your absolute best. Your best might not be as good as someone else but if you apply yourself fully and present your best work, even if it doesn’t work out you will have peace of mind that you gave it 100%. Applying your best effort, full focus and hard work is always something to be proud of, because you can walk away with no regrets. So this year I plan to always try my best and give the most effort I can at all times. That may vary, and with practice, my best at the end of the year should look better than my best at the beginning of the year. It’s not about perfection, it’s about effort and intention.