Every pregnancy, labor, and baby is different. The same person could have several children and no two experiences will be the same. This is one of the reasons I love talking about pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting. Exchanging war stories is such an interesting and meaningful way to bond with other women. So in the spirit of bonding through shared experiences, even if they are a bit different, I want to share a bit about my experiences with labor & delivery and how they compare to each other.
How My labor Started
Pregnancy #1
I was at home, minding my business, and boom! Early labor! I had no idea what was happening other than I was in intense pain. Those contractions felt like someone was trying to pull my soul out of my body through my belly button! I thought I was going to have my baby then and there but no, the contractions were inconsistent and after a few hours of pain, they just stopped. The next day I stayed in bed and tried to recover from the exhaustion. My husband and I got into bed that night, thinking the worst was over and then boom, my water broke. In bed, 5 minutes after we turned off the lights!
Pregnancy #2
This was much less theatrical. I found out at my 39 week check up that I was 5cm dilated and had no idea. My gyny did a membrane sweep and sent me home. I ended up going into the hospital with mild contractions that evening. Thankfully they admitted me. Truthfully, I was only mildly uncomfortable but I was afraid of going into full on labor at home alone.
When My labor Started
Pregnancy #1
I was 38 weeks pregnant exactly! I was so happy she didn’t arrive on her due date, which was April 1st. By the time I reached 38 weeks pregnant I could barely handle it anymore. I distinctly remember crying in the car as I waited for the metra train to commute to downtown Chicago from the suburbs to work on a Friday. I gave birth the following monday.
Pregnancy #2
I was 39 weeks pregnant! This time I wasn’t as miserable because I was working from home but I was very ready for her to be out. I figured she would be coming at 38 weeks since at 37 weeks I was 2-3cm dilated (I think), but I was happy she didn’t because her birthday would’ve been on or right after Christmas. With hubby and my birthday being in December in addition to Christmas and New Year’s Eve, that month is packed enough as it is!
Hospital experience
Pregnancy #1
Pharah was born at a hospital in downtown Chicago, IL. This hospital was super nice and updated. We attended the labor class and hospital tour, which put me at ease and made the intake process super quick. The only issue I had here is that as soon as it was time to push the doctor on call said “we’re going to let you try to push but if you can’t we will do a c-section”. This made me instantly panic and lose confidence in myself.
Pregnancy #2
Yara was born at a hospital in downtown Phoenix, AZ. I was nervous about giving birth so far away from my mother but the nursing staff was really nice to me. They made me feel safe and looked after, which for black women is often rare. The only issue I had was with one of the doctors. He wasn’t someone I had seen in my weekly visits to the OB/GYN but he was on call that night. He wanted to send me home but the triage nurse insisted that I stay because I was 5-6 cm already and having contractions. Thankfully he wasn’t the only doctor. He was nice enough but the bedside manner of the nurses and the second delivery doctor was much better!
How My Labor went
Pregnancy #1
Once I got to the delivery room I got an epidural. I asked for it as soon as I got to the triage room and threw up everywhere. I was going to try natural but the pain of the contractions and the nausea were too much for me. I was 5cm dilated when I got to the hospital. After this, it was easy sailing. I made a few phone calls, took some pictures, and then went to sleep until it was time to push. Despite the knock to my confidence, I was able to meet my daughter after 15 minutes of pushing.
Pregnancy #2
Much like the first experience, the second was quick and painless. Even though I wasn’t in tremendous pain, I chose to get the epidural again. Afterward, they broke my water and put the peanut ball between my legs. This time I didn’t get a chance to fall asleep because within an hour I went from 5cm to 10! I almost gave birth on my own without knowing a thing. I pushed her out in 3 pushes and wah-la! Baby time.
Recovery Room experience
Pregnancy #1
The best part of being at this expensive hospital in the middle of a major city was the recovery room. It felt like a nice hotel with a hospital bed in the middle of it. I had a nice view of downtown with lots of options for food nearby. The first night I sent the baby off to the nursery to get rest but they brought her back to breastfeed. She latched immediately after birth but from there it was a struggle. I called the lactation consultant multiple times, and they were always very helpful.
Pregnancy #2
This room was smaller, not as fancy but private and comfy. The experience at this hospital was very different as there was no sending the baby off. She slept in the room with me the whole time, they even gave her her first bath in the room. This was something I didn’t get to see with my first daughter. Breastfeeding was still a struggle once we got to the room, same as before, but this time I brought nipple shields in my hospital bag. This saved me a lot of pain and frustration early on.
The first night at home.
Pregnancy #1
I remember having mixed feelings about going home with my newborn baby. It felt like a dream to have waited so long to meet her and then take her home to be a permanent fixture in my life. When I got home and settled in I remember thinking “wow, this is it. I’m a mom now. What should I do? They just let me take her and didn’t give any instructions!” motherhood literally doesn’t come with a manual and that threw me lol It felt like buying a car but not knowing exactly how to drive it but instead saying “well in the movies they turn the key and move the wheel… can’t be that hard!”
Pregnancy #2
The second time around was much different. Although the staff was great and the experience was fine, I was anxious to get back to my life. I think this is because I was ready to get home to my older daughter and so excited to introduce her to her sister. I only stayed in the hospital one night as opposed to two nights and one day with my first daughter. When hubby came to get me he brought my daughter and it really was a special moment that I won’t forget. I recorded it just in case 😉
Every Pregnancy is different!
As you can see, my second pregnancy was a completely different experience than the first. What I learned the first time around helped me make changes to improve things the second time around. But truthfully, you never really know what is going to go down. My suggestion is to try and enjoy it no matter what, take pictures and videos, and try to remember every second! Let me know which parts of my experiences you identify with!
